Forever and Always
by Symphonic Veins
Summary: I should have let her go so long ago, but my heart just couldn't detach from her. I honestly believed that she could change for me. Ginny/Hermione. Pretty angsty, mostly just Ginny's thoughts.


**For the record, this story was written out of personal experience,**

**minus the form of certain events.**

**It hits home pretty hard, so please be nice.**

**Other than that, I think pretty much EVERYONE knows that I don't own Harry Potter, nor it's characters.**

**Oh, and God bless Taylor Swift.**

**- - -**

_**~ I stare at the phone**_

_**He still hasn't called**_

_**And then you feel so low, you can't feel nothing at all**_

_**And you flash back to when we said**_

_**Forever and always**_

_**It rains in your bedroom, everything is wrong**_

_**It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone**_

_**'Cause I was there when you said**_

_**Forever and always~**_

- - -

I thought that I had finally gotten everything right. We were growing so close again. But if that were the case, then why can't I stop these tears from falling down my cheeks? Why am I so frantic to find her, even after I swore that I would instantly leave if this happened again? Maybe just to hear her sweet voice tell me that what I've been told is a lie. Some part of me is praying that it isn't true, even though deep down I know that it is. She betrayed me, even after she swore that it would never happen again. 'All those other times meant nothing, you're the only one I could ever love', she would tell me. I believed her every time. I should have let her go so long ago, but my heart just couldn't detach from her. I honestly believed that she could change for me. She was just deceiving me, yet again.

After running through the halls of Hogwarts for what felt like hours, I finally spotted her among a group of people. I breathlessly went up to her, pulling her arm towards my direction, a few feet away from her friends. I could barely speak without the threat of tears. I sometimes regret that I even did, from what followed out of her mouth.

"Hermione", I said, "Please, I need you to talk to me." She stared at me coldly before speaking with the least amount of emotion that I've ever heard come out of her mouth.

"There's nothing to say, Ginny. I just think that you love me in a different way than how I love you. I care for you, but I'm not IN love. I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry."

I couldn't hold it in; I fell apart right there in front of her. "But why? How can you say that to me? Just a few days ago you were telling me how you couldn't wait to start our lives together. How you loved me more than anything..."

Anything that was said after that I can't even recall. It might have been from the ringing in my ears, or the loud pounding of my heart, but the last thing I remember is seeing her walk off with her friends, appearing to not even be phased that she just left my heart on the ground in front of me, withered and broken.

- - -

This all happened about a week ago, so it's no surprise that I'm still feeling distraught. In which way, I'm not so sure. Yes, she may have torn me apart time after time, and she did lie to me every chance that she got... but somewhere inside of me I still long for her. I still ache for her arms to wrap themselves around me. For her soft lips to mouth out those three little words while staring into my eyes. For her delicate hands to brush along my arm and back, relieving me of any fears that I may have of my future.

But am I still in love with her? Rumor has it that she already found my replacement, no more than a few hours after the last time I saw her. I don't care, to be perfectly honest. She could date the entire school, but I know for a fact that none of them will ever show her the amount of love that I gave her. For some reason I see reassurance in that, as silly as it sounds.

I try to fill her place by flirting and having long conversations with other girls... Other people that could very well show me the meaning behind having emotions. And even though I'm honestly having a good time, there's nothing that can keep my mind from diverting back to her; Back to my Hermione. Because not only did I lose the one person who I thought I could pour my entire heart into, but I also lost the best friend that I could ever hope for. There was never a moment where we weren't thinking the same thought, or picturing the same image. We had the same sense of humor. No one could possibly copy how perfect her reactions matched my own. She knew all of my subtle jokes, all my references. She was my other half, and I had lost her. I had lost the only person that could make me feel at home, even if I were five hundred miles away from it. That's something I know I'll never be able to replace.

I'll admit, the nights are hard. Nights that used to be spent with affectionate words and falling asleep to her beautiful face, were now empty and alone. Every night I resort to crawling into that bed full of so many memories, and curl up into a ball hoping that sleep will carry me away. It never does. The only way I can even hope for some shut-eye is by taking large amounts of sleeping pills, and even then I can't manage to stay asleep for more than four hours a night. I never eat anymore; I've lost ten pounds in this past week. I'm starting to scare even myself.

Though, even through all of this, I feel as if I'm going to eventually make it out okay. She's far from the person that I thought she was. The girl I loved never existed. She was just an image I had grown infatuated with, in my own head. But even if that's true, then why can't I convince myself to get rid of the things that remind me of her? Her clothes, her photos, and most importantly the note that I was supposed to give her, just a few hours before my heart was torn out of my chest; The note that still lay on my night-stand. And it reads:

_Hiii Hermione,_

_I want to tell you about all the things that make me love you:_

_Your bright, warm eyes; Just by looking into them I easily lose my train of thought._

_Your perfect mouth and radiant teeth; Every time you smile at me, all my anger and stress goes away instantly, and your kisses fill me up with such a high that easily gets me forever addicted._

_Your brilliant mind; Whenever you talk about anything, even if I can't understand what it means, I could listen to you go on for hours, just because of how passionately you speak. That, and how quick your wit is. Which brings me to..._

_Your amazing sense of humor; You can make me laugh harder than anyone else, even when I'm at the butt of the joke._

_And lastly, but certainly not the least of what I adore about you, is your kind heart._

_You never cease to amaze me with how great of a person you are. I admire you a little more each day, when I see you do even the smallest of selfless things._

_So you see, I don't just love you for your unmatchable beauty. I love you for just being you, and not trying to be anything but that. I love you Hermione Granger. Don't you ever forget that you're the last girl that will ever own my heart; The girl I'm going to marry._

_Thank you for loving me,  
Ginny_

_PS – Happy sixteen month anniversary!_

**- - -**

_**~I see your face and my mind is a drive away**_

_**None of us thought it was gonna end that way**_

_**People are people, and sometimes we change our minds**_

_**But it's killing me to see you go after all this time**_

_**It's two AM**_

_**Feeling like I just lost a friend**_

_**Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me**_

_**And we know it's never simple never easy**_

_**For a clean break, no one here to save me**_

_**You're the only thing I know like that back of my hand**_

_**And I can't**_

_**Breathe**_

_**Without you**_

_**But I have to~**_


End file.
